Since only I can read this, I’m just going to list off people and my issues. Kami help me if other people really can read this. I’ll cry. So maybe just in case, I’ll add this.
IF YOU’RE NOT MY OWN MIND, DON’T YOU -DARE- READ THIS! IF A SINGLE PERSON GETS MAD AT ME, I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO DEAL WITH IT. I’LL STICK WITH JUST NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN FOR BETRAYING MY REQUEST FOR PRIVACY. GOT IT? I’M -DEAD- SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
Madelin – Kami I love you woman. (The friend love) I know you’d do just about anything to come see me.
Pookie – Sometimes I hate it when your happy. I started to talk to you about this one day but you were to busy being happy. It’s horrible I know, but it’s also the only time you talk to me. You mean to much to me, you really are like a little sister or just my best friend and I hate it when you pull away from me. Like yesterday, I ask how your doing and I get – cool. That just sucks ass. I want to know what’s going on in your life but as the days go by you seem to want me to know less and less. I hate that you’ve all but abandoned Jinxsed and me. I’m jealous and I resent everyone of your irl friends because they can be there for you when I can’t.
Rando – Sometimes I just want to smack you. I have no idea why either. Maybe this time it was the lack of any warning that you were suddenly leaving the boards for a week and forcing the plot line to just drop without you. Argh. I hate how you’re just like me and need to be responsible for things. I hate that I have to wonder if you’ve even been my friend for me and not just to get closer to me.
Sprinkles – I don’t even know you. Two years and I barely know you at all and yet…we sort of talk all the time. It’s strange, we’re always in the same chats but usually our conversations are with other people but each other.
Dusty – I….am insanely jealous of your friends. I hate HPB. But what I hate most, is that I’m not even allowed to hate them. I hate that I had to swallow my pride so we could be friends and it’s starting to make me resent you for it. It wasn’t me and it was something I’d never do. I don’t back down from how I feel and even now I still feel it. Jinxsed was there for you first and then when something else came along you ran to it and forgot all about Jinxsed. The last fight tore apart our friendship and it’s never been the same since. We talk, but we don’t talk. I don’t think we can ever go back to the level of closeness we once had. Tab said one day that she stopped holding grudges when I mentioned this to her. I don’t think this is a grudge. I think it really it that I resent you for making me be someone I’m not and say things I didn’t mean that day. I feel like you choose them over us and I hate when you talk about your other friends. I don’t like them all and you’ve given them a one-sided opinion on me. I really hate that. At least with my friends they know you too so they hear both sides of the story. It sucks because at times I don’t even know who out of my friends I can rely on to be there for me. I know Pookie will always be on my side but she’s not even around these days.
Brian – I’ll never be who you want me to be. I can’t be there for you and you can’t love me. I’m leaving Brian. Leaving. I’m not going to have a long distance relationship and I don’t want to be a person who drags you across the country. I don’t love you.
Josh – One day you might meet me and find that I’m not who you expect. Like Brian, you can’t love me. You don’t even know me. You live completely across the country from me and yet you think your in love with me. I don’t love you either.
Randyo – I never know where we’re getting close and when we’re not. I have the feeling that you’re always hiding something from me and I don’t like it. Your a riddle and I don’t think I’ll ever be the person you can talk too. But that’s your choice. I’d like us to be friends, which we are, but we’ll never be the spill everything to each other friends. I don’t think it’s how either of us work. We’re just too much alike.
Jinxsie – I’ll never be able to trust you. I don’t a bit. I don’t think I ever had. Your negativity and the fact that you make fun of everyone always leaves my wondering when or if, you’re going to make fun of me. You keep all your feeling cooped up and nobody ever knows how you feel or what to expect from you. There’s days when I hate you and days when I love being around you, but the fact that I never know what kind of day it’s going to be makes me wonder.
Tab – I have nothing to say about you. For the last… 8 months since we were friends again, you’ve done nothing but be there for me ad vice versa. I couldn’t ask for anything more from a friends and I’m so grateful to you for it. It’s not hard to believe that we’ve been friends for 2 years now, in fact, it seems like a lot longer. ^.^ so my note on you is just a thanks, even if you will never know.
And that’s everyone. Trust me, if for some reason someone else does read this one day, there are happy words for the bad comments and vice versa. I just needed to get it all out to an impartial party. Myself. I needed to know how I felt about everyone and it’s good to get it out.
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I’m not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit that I’m wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I’m not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You’re raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You’re raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You’re raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You’re raising the dead in me
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You’re raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I’m not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
