Sweet.
http://requiem.tsukitejina.com
It’s nowhere near done, but I actually got the hardest thing – creating the layout and MAKING MY OWN BLOG done. I’m so proud. I did mysql and php.
And I’m still in my happy place when it comes to the decision I’ve been able to make over the last few days. If feels so good to not feel guilty and to know that the only reason I don’t feel that way is because I never should’ve been in the first place. Granted, I did do one bitchy thing to Holly and I do feel guilty for lying to her about it but I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth either.
11 more days in Maine.
I don’t like… *really really* want to get back, but I do want to get back. I’m like.. okay, I’ve had my vacation, can I go back now? I’ve made it 12 days now. So I’m exactly halfway through my vacation already. Right now, I’m really not all that sad to see it go by either. Though I would like to get a bit more of a tan and read the books I said I was going to read while I was on vacation. I did read that one historical romance novel though, it was actually pretty good considering I haven’t had one to read in quite awhile. My days in Chicago actually went by a lot faster then my days in Maine, probably because there wasn’t a whole lot of ways for me to acknowledge what day it even was.
Mm, I spent all day just lazing around reading one of the historical romances my Mom just finished. It was nice. It was also one of those days when I didn’t really think about anything though I’ve come to realize that I do miss my friends already. I’m so used to being in Chicago and seeing them nearly everyday that it’s strange to have gone a week now without seeing them. If both Peter and Holly hadn’t been calling me and messaging me I think I’d have gone crazy by now. It makes me appreciate them all that much more. It also makes me wonder where my cell phone is right now, brb. Huh. Can’t find it. Must be in the Escape I guess because I remember getting it out of the Mustang so I couldn’t have left it in there the other day and I didn’t bring it with me today when I was in the truck.
Boredom.
Nothing too drastic really happened today other then me confirming my thoughts of last night. Maybe… I’ll go talk to my Mom. brb. Hmm. Mom didn’t really say anything I didn’t know actually except that she agreed on one or two things I had to say. I know that I believe Peter. Honestly, I don’t know if I believe Holly anymore.
It’s hard to explain the confidence the simple line “I’ve got someone back in Chicago” can give me. How just talking to Peter made happy enough that I could realize I shouldn’t have to feel guilty all the time. Even Josh told me that I need to stop sacrificing myself just to make Holly happy. I’ve tried that and it only made me depressed. As much as I regret the results I got after Sarah, I know it was the right choice to make. I find it rather funny that as soon as Holly does blame me that I come to realize how much it’s not my fault. It wasn’t a choice to fall for Peter, it just happened. I know that for as much as I don’t like the idea of falling… hard for someone… it will happen and it is starting with Peter. It’s hard for me to ever stay mad at Holly but it’s getting easier. I’m getting really pissed that she’s treating this like a game. It’s probably my biggest pet peeve right now.
I’ve really gotta stop remembering to post in my journal *after* it switches days so I can stop rigging the entry time. ^.^
I didn’t really do anything today but pack my junk, talk to my Mom and Holly for a little while and read fanfics. I stopped and watched that new disney movie too but that’s really all. That and I seem to have misplaced a few hours of my life. I swear it was just around 2 maybe and suddenly it’s 5am. Damnnnnn!!
On my way to Maine in the morning where my precious laptop will also be getting repair ASAP.
Didn’t really do anything today either, did some dishes, that’s really all there is. I managed to mostly avoid thinking about anything altogether so I suppose that overall I’m really doing well when it comes to that line of thinking. I’m still not really lonely though I suppose I am already starting to miss my friends. I’m so used to always having them around that it seems strange when they aren’t. It’s very quiet in the room at all times.
I diddddd…. nothing today. Quite literally. I spent the entire day taking a reallllyyyy long bath, reading a bit of cosmo, and watching DN Angel. I haven’t even actually spoke to anyone today unless you count the few minutes I talked to Peter while he used me to check his grades and then essentially told me that he’d talk to me when I got back in a few weeks. Oh well!! I wasn’t going to talk to anyone initially anyway. And since I talked to Holly for like an hour last night it really isn’t too shocking that I didn’t talk to her at all today.
Ho hum… that’s it.
