Arrrghhhhhhh!!!!!

I’m going crazy. I swear. Because I’m pretty sure the conversation “I’m going to go fold laundry and watch this movie, you’re welcome to join.” “I’ll join, but I’m going to read.” “Alright!”… does not translate to an angry “You know, it’d be really great if you’d help fold this laundry.” comes pretty much out of nowhere. As does him being annoyed when I get annoyed due to his interrupting me reading the last 10 pages of my book… TWICE. I patiently and had calmly replied, “Just let me finish my book hun.” So of course the second time I was annoyed. 4 pages later when I finish my book and ask hom what’s up, I get “Nothing, it’s not important.” because he’s angry. First of all, WTF with the bothering me if it was really nothing, and second of all IT WAS 4 PAGES LEFT OF MY BOOK! Do I go around bugging people during the last 10 minutes of their movies? NO!

Ohhhohohhh. The “What the hell Andi, it’s my weekend too.” Could not have pissed me off anymore if he’d tried. ALL weekend we were doing the crap he wanted to do. As we did last weekend. As we’ll be doing next weekend. The one time we did go somewhere I wanted to go he was all emo and mopey because he wanted to go home. ARGHGHHGHGHHH!!!! All i want is to spend a nice weekend home and maybe go to the fucking movies. But no, that’s an unnecessary expense.

Fuck him for getting all “Are you sure you have the money for that” look to me for buying books! What the hell else am I supposed to be doing while we watch the movie we JUST WATCHED HALF A DAY AGO AGAIN? For getting annoyed at me when I read on the way back. I tried talking to him a few times, but of course no. He only wanted to talk when I was actually doing something.

What the hell ever happened to doing things I wanted to do? Why are they suddenly less important then everything else you want to do? I have tried explaining, repeatedly, that I am FUCKING TIRED OF VISITING YOUR PARENTS. But no, that doesn’t seem to matter. If they want to do something, of course we need to forget anything I wanted to do and go see them. It only makes sense that we go down there a good three times a month.

And so the fuck what if MAYBE.. I repeat… MAYBE… I don’t want Roger living with us. I FINALLY got an apartment of my own, I’m not sure I want to go about giving up all the privacy I’ve worked forever to earn. I LIKE being able to wander around my apartment half clothed, or not having to “be quiet” when I want to do things in the bump of the night.

It’s not that it’s Ricky’s family. It’s not. They’re great people. I just don’t want to see them again. I’m not a fucking people person. I’d get tired of spending that many weekends with friends. I want to finish my stupid video game.

so PLEASE give me a break with all this “It’s my weekend too.” crap, because honestly I don’t care anymore. And if you fucking ask for my help, and then get angry because you’ve now taken away my chance at not doing it without getting pissy, don’t expect me to stop because now you “don’t want me help.” Don’t look at me like a fucking dog and you’re saying “get off the couch” with a stern voice. It doesn’t fucking work. Don’t wait 10 minutes and expect me to not be pissed off either, because it’s not going to happen. So yeah, later when you come and ask me what I’m doing and I say “I’m reading, is that ok?” “Yes, how dare you educate yourself!” “Well, you know it was a problem half an hour ago, so now I’m just checking.” you are going to get a pissy Andi and sarcasm, because no… I won’t be in a good mood, and yes… I will type up journal entries full of swearing and run-on sentences.

Because no matter how much I love Ricky, right now I am severely pissed off at him.