It’s less then three weeks now until my parents arrive and I don’t think i’ve been this excited about something since my sister told me that I was not in fact getting a super nes for Xmas like I asked for but a playstation. Were all planned out to do all sorts of things which has me excited because that means that my dad has to spend time with me doing more then just playing wow at the same time. Yes, my dad plays world of Warcraft. It’s pretty amazing actually. Not too many children can complain that their dad won’t get off wow to spend time with the family and not vice versa.

Things between Ricky and I have been pretty good still, I just don’t hold my breath about anything and then I’m not disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Ricky says that both dnic and Ryan have admitted to being jealous about us and I’m still freaked out that all of the long term relationships that my friends were in have ended. Although I see Ryan and Pam more as a temporary thing because I just can’t picture Ryan with anyone else. Though it would most likely be a good thing as pam hasn’t really proven herself to deserve Ryan, which is pretty much the opposite of wha I wouldve said once upon a time.

I’ve been reading the sword of truth books which are actually really good! There 11 books in the series and they’re all around 1000 pages or so, so they’re taking even me a little while to complete.

Well that’s about all for now!

On the front of my most talked about subject (Peter that is) nothing’s happened really, except that it looks like we really are going to keep it as just the two of us for hour movie-a-thon. Disney it may be however Peter and I ironically share the same 3 favorite disney movies – Mulan, Aladdin and Hercules, so while it may seem strange, it’s kinda fun. Plus I’ll appreciate any time I get alone with Peter, not to mention just out of my apartment without the rest of the gang with us. I feel a little like… cabin fever I guess? If my cabin fever can also include school. It’s more like I feel trapped to always be with the same people because I never do anything. I’m with Holly like… 24/7 and it’s kinda drving me crazy on some moments.

And… that’s about it. It’s that time of year again for me to do FASFA and all other accounting-like fun and I’m way behind on getting two packages shipped that should’ve been doe oh say – about 5 days ago. If I don’t do it later today I’m deaaaaaaad. Poor people. T_T

Ok, first off, wanna wave to my favoritest Randyo, in case he bothers to read. Cause you know, Randyo just rocks my world. Plus, he calls me Raya, and what’s better then that?

Er..not much happened today…slept..played Ragnarok, and talked to Randyo. Average few days really, with nothing to even complain about. Just wanted to keep up with the idea of updating regularly.

Maybe it was just looking at my buddy list to see if Randy was online, and seeing Sprinkles, Tab and Dusty. Three of the four people I used to be closest too, and now I barely if ever talked to any of them. Every has fallen into doing what they love I think, or at least what they like. Tab has her plays, and Dusty her friends and the other boards. I don’t know about Sprinkles though, and I think Allie still has Ian.

It’s funny, Randy and I seem to be the most alike. I don’t think I’ve ever found a person like me who could talk themselves out of something before. It’s good to have somebody to talk too when I’m wondering about my feelings with Brian, or just to laugh with over something or another. ^^ I like it. (Now if I could just get him to move here, I’d have a best friend again, lol.)

So I’ve been hanging out with Daniel and Holly during the weekends…and weekdays really. Fun people. Both in Game Art so the play video games. We’re all completely different from each other in one way or another though. I like having friends here, it makes me happy. Having Brian in my life to talk to makes me even happier.

He’s thinking about not going to school in Maine…and I know that if he doesn’t he’ll come here. I think…I think I’m going to actually trust him. For once, I think I can. I know he’d never intentionally hurt me, and that’s what matters. He knows of all my deepest darkest secrets and won’t hold them against me.

Along the lines of being happy, that leads me to Josh. Josh who I don’t think I can handle talking to much anymore. I don’t know… I think I fear that he will make me sad again. For once I’m really happy in my life (other then with my desperate need for a job) and I’m scared he will somehow take that away from me. Josh always managed too…make me sad I guess. Or nervous… I never knew what emotion he was going to react with next so I was always scared. I felt courned into watching every word I said and every action I made.

I know I forbid Josh weeks ago from ever reading my journal again but if you do… I’m sorry. One of the reasons I warned you that things might not be the same after we took time away from talking to eachother is that I get angry, and another is because I tend to detatch myself from that person. You pushed me away then and now… now I think I’m running away. I want you to be happy in your life and I hope one day you can stop doubting yourself so much. You have a lot of lessons left to be learned, but you’re still young…you’ll learn them as they come.

I’m also happy because I get to spend Thanksgiving with Madelin’s family. It’ll be nice to get away from here for a weekend, and I’ve never gotten a chance to spend more then a single day with Madelin so that really should be fun. ^.~

What else…

Well I suppose that school is going well. I’ve learned that I really don’t feel comfortable in rushed situations at all. I like to relax and handle things as they come. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like to be around people who panic. I think that’s more it then anything. I can’t wait to actually get into classes where I learn webpage development. Right now I’m still just stuck in the classes that lead up to them.

Working on a new page, and I was scared as hell when I realized I hadn’t worked on a website since December 2003. That’s just scary. So working on getting that setup so that Randy and I can play with our new toy, which should be interesting. I’ve been wanting to get my stories online on my own website for awhile now, so I suppose this has been a real long time coming.

I hope everyone if anyone bothers to read this is living happily, safe, and in the comfort of someone who matters.

-Andi