Lindsay msged me and was like… sorry about your guinea pig (Allie died the other day)

I was like… speechless for a good minute just staring at the window like.. wth… I haven’t talked to you in like 3 months. Why are you talking to me???

I’m still like… wha….?????

So yeah here’s the interesting part. On the way home I was tired. When I’m tired I get cuddley.

I was sitting with Brian.

So yeah, I ended up like… in his lap. I was snuggled under his arm with both my legs over one of his like the whole way back. Probably not the best idea considering Brian still cares a lot about me and I’m moving, but I wanted to. I knew what I was doing and htat I’d regret it later, but I needed to. And damn, Brian is comfy.

Got my most embarassing moment read out loud to my entire class, but hey I lived. I wasn’t really that upset, especially when I didn’t describe it on the paper very much and I wrote it a good 5 years ago. Maybe it was cause whoever the hell had my paper almost didn’t read it that I didn’t kill him. He’s lucky. I probably got revenge during four square anyway, I took out like everyone in my class at least once.

It was fun though. Pretty much told Jinx to screw off at one point. She informed me that “You haven’t been all that pleasant to be around for the last two weeks.” Aka, I’ve been refusing to cart her damn ass around whenever she wants to go somewhere and I told her I wasn’t giving her a ride this week.

She has no idea of the concept of not having money. And she never will. I hate that.

So yeah. Hanging out with Brian because I only have like a week left of my life to spend with him.

Oh and apparently Jinx doesn’t think she can live with me.

Big suprise there, I’ve only been saying that for like the last 6 months, but whatever you bitch. I’m just not putting up with her shit anymore. I don’t have to. And I’m going to live with her for one trimester, then move out. She’s been trying to tell me what I can and can’t bring when me move. Screw her, I’m bringing whatever the hell I want. And -she- is not using my crap if she doesn’t bring her own. No means no.

I want my server back damn it. I miss my website, but money hasn’t been exactly flowing lately and I don’t want to push Dad about it, but he gets payed tomorrow, so I’ll ask him about it again then I guess.

Whatever, this is good enough.

It thats Jinx, no she can’t have a ride. I don’t feel like dragging my ass over to her house cause she’s lazy. And wasting my gas.

Good. It wasn’t.

Anyway, I have to pee and there’s some strange dude in my bathroom.

Hahaaa.

He’s fixing the floor.

And I’m not wearing pants. Good thing there’s jammies like… over there. Yeah, see them? Mhm.

My room… is a mess.

I have senior banquet today. Yey. Not. Maybe it’ll be fun, but who knows. It looks cold out and like… all the sutff they planned is for outside. And they said the inside wasn’t heated. *bundles up*

I have marching practise tomorrow. Who the fuck in the world decided that marching should be done at like friggin 9:30am? Were they on crack? Why the hell would we want to wake up that friggin early after finally getting through with schools. Stupid mother f….

So Dad puts Zoei in my room. At 8am. Barking. Jumping. There’s like cables n shit all over the place from my laptop. Smart move moron…

Yeah, still upset that cynical isn’t an option. I’ll probably settle for sarcastic. Damn. Now Pookie has me wanting to listen to Cinematic. I should grab my cd player. And some batteries… and a book. PoA would be good. And my notepad. Can’t leave that behind.

Wtf sarcastic isn’t on here either! Gimme some annoyed emotions people! Is annoyed even on here? It better be!

Alright, it was, but since everything else wasn’t I chose aggravated instead. Good nuff methinks.

My feet are getting cold. Yeah, the fan’s on in my room, that could be it.

I still have to pee.

So I have like 4 posters to hang up and no place to put them. Haha… you can only tell slightly I’m a HP fan by looking in my room. Gotta get that Johnny poster up. He’s over there. Getting bent. Damn it. Sexy men should not be bent.

I need to shower people! And pee. For chrissakes, get out of my bathroom!

And fix my o key. It’s making me angry. Damn friggin key for breaking. I’ll fix it at some point… or not probably. Who the hell decided laptop keys shouldn’t be like keyboard keys? He’s a moron too.

I should make a CD or something here with all my pretty music.

Mwahaha. Headstrong is playing. Yey.

I’m hungry, but there’s no food so I know it’s pointless to look you know? For some reason my stomach doesn’t believe me. Shush stupid stomaach you can survive till dinner or till when you can steal food off like…Brian. He’s good at finding food. Maybe it’s a… heh… nvm, won’t say that.

Oh hey it wasn’t Headstrong it was I’m Gone by 3 Doors Down. Nearly as good I suppose. Ooooh, are they out of my bathroom now??

…No. Dammit. It’s like 8 by 7 dude, how long can it take???!!!!

Need shower. It can wait like 2 hours though I guess. But I’m itchy. AND I CANT WAIT TWO HOURS TO PEE!

I was supposed to be asleep during all this, but no my Dad can’t put Zoei IN THE COMPUTER ROOM!

Hmph.

K, don’t feel like listening to Lonely but Garden of Everything is cool. Score one for 6 minute songs.

Hmm…post more later I guess.

And yes, I still have to pee.

Jinxsed is good… mods are going good…

*sighs and sits down* I wish the people online were closer to me physically. I’d kill to be able to just run over ot one of their houses and hang out. Maybe moving will be good for me. I’ll get a chance to meet more and new people like myself. Especially at an art school in web design. Hopefully drawing isn’t all that important because well… I suck.

I mean, yeah I’m ok at computer graphics manipulation and stuff but thats as far as it goes. I used to be able to draw, it just was never my thing.

Don’t worry Pookie, she really doesn’t matter to me anymore. Just remember, half my passwords are still involve her birthday. Nothing has crossed my mind to even think about her normally anymore. Him either. One day I’ll see them again and laugh because they were so truly pathetic. So so truly scared that I would come between them. If they had to be that nervous over one girl then I pity their relationship anyway. Maybe thats the emotion I have for her now. Pity. She’ll never go anywhere and never be anything and I don’t care anymore. I flip off Jerry ever time I pass his house. It’s good to get the aggression out.

Scaredy cats really. You know what the one thing I’d say to her if I saw her?

I want my stuff back bitch.

Would you get along with a girl who said that you tried to drown her in 2nd grade? Or even -gasp- shoved her off the monkey bars in fifth? I’m serious here people.

She was like all moody about it. Yes Jinx, because I have just so many friends that I never spend any with you. *rolls eyes*

I actually look forward to gold days now, I can’t wait to have a web design class where I actually *learn* something again! And seeing as I have no idea how to use frontpage either, that will be fun as well!

Yes. I am a freak. But at least I have a passion for my career of choice alright? Would you rather hear me being excited about that or bitching that I’m some 55 year old woman working at Rite Aid?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I love my reviewers. I know all my friends just kinda shake their heads and blow me off about it, by my fanfictions are my own way of dealing with my issues. ^^; Oddly I’ve been getting originality comments. I love getting reviews because I get that warm mushy feeling, and everyone loves my odd writing style.

I’m still worried about Dusty though…

Overall, today was good. And it still is because I have like…four more hours of being awake. Trust me, I dread nothing more then *shudders* having a set time to wake up. I can’t wait till I’m a freelance web designer and just go to work (probably across the hallway) as soon as I feel like waking up. Ahh, that’ll be the life.

Yeah, you’re really thinking that the physco lady might have a good idea after all now aren’t you? Ha. It’s all mine. Only scary physco people like me who drool at the words of like CSS and Iframes are allowed in this business, and maybe a Pookie or two.

Bah. Lol. Nobody reads my journal anyway. ^^;

-Andi

Oh Allie. I know most times you’re the only person who reads this. Probably the only person who cares about my personal life enough too. My biggest fear – my big big fear is…being forgotten. I don’t want to live life and never be known for anything. Honestly, conceitedness and self-centeredness of it all – that’s one of the larger reasons why I try to run a web site.

I’m so tired of being depressed, so tired of being needy. I wish I could just give myself a quick kick in the ass and be my real self again. But it’s so hard when I feel like even Jinx takes me for granted. Sometimes I wonder if she even wants me at the same college as her. I have a lot of underlying feelings that I’m just unwanted in everything I do. I changed my schedule today because I knew right off that Jinx wasn’t even going to recognize I was there. So I edited my schedule and set it up so that my independent study was with one of the teachers I like, at the same time as Brian’s class. Brian is good people. I like him a lot. It was a rather nice boost to my same ego when he said; “Now I know why Jinx hangs out with you, it’s a lot of fun.” but when I said that to Jinx she’s like…No, that’s not why. Sometimes she can be a really big bitch without realizing it at all. Yesterday I was like…trapped into taking her grocery shopping, I basically had said in every way possible without directly saying it that I didn’t want to. “I have no gas Jinx. None.” I dropped her off at her house, and left. “Just call me later or whatever.” she calls me in an hour; “Just let me fucking wake up.” And then when I was promised lunch, she wanted to make it Chinese. Ok, I don’t like Chinese food. Hell honestly, I like a rather odd combination of food. But it just pissed me off because she knows I don’t like it. In the grocery store I just followed her around with the cart. I don’t even like shopping when there’s no benefit for me – I’m just one of those people. I can’t stand window shopping. She was trying to yell at my for playing on the cart too. And *gasp* I laid on the back of the damn chair.

Everything was just leading to one really pissed off Andi. I don’t know if she’s honestly getting jealous that I’m spending time with Brian or not, but I rather like having two friends. Brian’s getting tired of hanging out with the same people day after day and really, so am I. It’s just the same thing day after day and college seems so far and so close at the same time. Ok – Brian may not be the most handsome guy in the world, but he’s a sweetheart. ^^; Though you’d have to know him to understand that I think. I kinda do want to go to prom with him – he doesn’t have a date, I don’t have a date, he’s he’s the one pushing me to ask someone. (And just plain go for that matter.) He says he likes someone I know rather well, and it’s not Jinx. That sadly, does eliminate a lot of people. And I’m really glad it’s not Jinx. She was like…”Thank God.” when I told her it wasn’t him. For someone who’s beginning to like the kid…that stings. I wanted to smack her right there in the car. She’s so vain. The only people she really likes are pretty boys.

>.< I probably shouldn’t be talking about one of my only friends like that but…I needed to get it all off my chest. Sometime there’s only so much you can take and I passed that point a month ago. I wonder half the time if we only hang out because neither of us has anything better to do. So I like hanging out with Brian. It gives me something better to do.

But I guess I am finally moving on…a little. I still miss Jerry a lot though – as a best friend. He said before that he comes in to see Sturk a lot and now that I have him, maybe I’ll get a chance to see Jerry and at least talk to him one last time. The last time I saw him was so…unresolved.

I guess that’s it.

-Andi

Grr! I’m getting really pissed about this whole Kristen thing! Now she only talks to me for like 10 minutes on the phone. I want my god-damn best friend back! I haven’t actually DONE anything with her in…ages. I don’t know if I even want to bother anymore. I’m tired of having to put like all the effort into this. I’m always the one who pushes for us to do something. Cause suddenly it dawns on me that she doesn’t seem to care to much. I’m around Jinxsie more and more often and Sarah is doing something with Kristen like constantly now. Even Jinx agree’s. I feel like I’m being abandoned by her. *Sniffles* My best friend is cheating on me with another girl.

Adios.

Ja.